I's Married Now!

I first want to say thanks again to everyone who has followed the blog. It was extremely helpful and inspiring to be able to express myself during the wedding planning process. I am so grateful to ESSENCE for giving me this opportunity as I had no idea what a blessing it would be to so many women, myself included. I truly enjoyed all of the feedback and believe me, it all served to help me remain calm on the big day.

What a day it was indeed. It was amazing. I mean, simply perfect. I would not have changed a single thing. Every single detail fell into place and went off perfectly on cue. My groom was as handsome as any groom could be and I truly felt my most beautiful. Our guests applauded as the bridal party entered the room. Derrick and his boys carried themselves as, and commanded the respect of royalty. My girls, my maids were fabulously stunning as they floated down the aisle with the grace and elegance of a thousand princesses.

If you are in the NY tri-state area and are looking for a venue to hold an event, do not discount the impressive Mezzanine in Newark, NJ. We were wowed the first time we entered the place, with its grand columns and gold licked ceilings. It was a gorgeous place without the dressing, but once the vendors added the decor it was transformed into a magical, enchanted backdrop for our lovely day. The brothers Frungillo were incredible. Not once did they so much as blink at one of our many requests. The food was delectable and every time we turned around, Ben Frungillo, whom we now affectionately refer to as "Cuz", was right there to make sure we had everything we needed. They are truly in the business of "making it happen". Derrick and I were thoroughly pleased and impressed with their first class service.

Although we enjoyed ourselves, I am grateful for pictures and video because the night goes by very quickly. There are only brief moments that you really find time to take it all in. We never ate our wedding cake. lol. Silly of us. I will have the baker make us one fresh tier that we will enjoy next week. We now look back on the video and photos, and each glimpse of the day seems even more lovely than we remember. Thank you Samantha Goldberg. Wedding planning is no joke. You do it well and without your expertise, I may have fallen apart.

The hours preceding the event were truly memorable as well. My girls and I, including the mothers, all enjoyed room service at the Short Hills Hilton as we bonded over Lillie Frierson-King's barrel curls, smokey eye shadow, and self served manicures. Mary J. Blige provided much of the soundtrack with the exception of some soothing Reiki Forest meditation music during the presentation of gifts. I gave each bridesmaid a delicate gold and silver necklace with tiny pendants, each with different words. Hope, Grow, Love, Namaste, Dream, and Faith. I too had one for myself that says "I am". I think Monifa, our makeup artist was proud as we fought back the waterworks that would surely have loosened our perfectly pressed faces. It was a touching moment that I will never forget and thankfully, was captured on film by our photographer and friend Jonathan Mannion.

I must give special mention to Lisa and the team from A Touch Of Elegance Florist in Rockaway, NJ. There are few words that can accurately convey their work. Breathtaking, heavenly and spectacular could work. Lisa listened to our vision and hit the nail square on the head. It was exactly what we wanted. The centerpieces were airy arrangements of white hydrangea and calla lillies, flanked by vases with floating candles and moss strewn river rocks. Also included in the design were branches of curly willow. This theme was carried through to the cocktail room as well as the ceremony room. I was especially impressed with an archway of eight-foot tall curly willow branches that was also adorned with white hydrangea flowers. Thank you Lisa. You are an angel.

There is so much more, but I will let ESSENCE tell the rest in the magazine. Even still, I can hardly contain my joy, and look forward to sharing so much more with you. Until then, keep the faith, and stay in grace.

All my best,

Malinda Williams-Jones

View exclusive photos from Malinda's wedding ceremony >>

View pictures of Malinda's wedding reception >>

I Made it.

We are one week away from the wedding and this will be my last wedding blog entry. I hope this has been as enjoyable for you as it has been for me. This was a difficult entry as I truly didn't know what to say. There is no picture that can convey this feeling. It's as though I had been writing to a friend for some time, sharing my thoughts, wants, secrets and ideas and then one day I just stopped. Yes, there is much for me to do in the coming week but there is still so much to share with you. I will pause for now and just say see ya later. Thanks for visiting and leaving your kind words, well wishes, advice, blessings, and inspiration.

As for the wedding, everything seems to have fallen into place and I cannot wait to experience the next phase of the dream. Don't worry though, I still have my feet planted firmly on the ground. :o) It's so amazing to be able to first envision something in your mind and then slowly watch it come to life, exactly the way you envisioned it. So yes, it is possible to live your dreams. Big or small. I'm living proof.

I made it. I am here. I am happy

All My Best,

Malinda Williams

It's A family Affair

Tuesday was my young love's birthday. It's a hard to believe, but nine years ago, on August 12th, I gave birth to the most incredible being I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. What a dream. How much of a dream? Well last night, as we sat and watched Michael Phelps decimate the competition in Beijing, my son asked if there was anything he could do to help me with the wedding. I took this as an opportunity to allow him to really get involved and be a part of the process. He helped me put together some of the favor boxes. I thought that was very cool. It was time well spent and he really had a sense of pride about his task. On one hand, I kinda felt bad because I know I'm supposed to do stuff like that with my bridesmaids, but we had such a good time and how could I possibly say no to those eyes. (melting) Besides, I saved half for my girls and there are plenty of other things for them to do. It reminded me that this wedding and marriage is not only a significant event for us, but for our children as well. They are just as excited, nervous, hopeful and anxious as we are. They too must be held and included in the process to ensure they truly feel important to the unit. I am excited about finding more ways for the kids to participate in the big day. After all, It's a family affair and what would it be without the babes. I am soooo enjoying this!!!

The Days To Come

Over the weekend I was deeply saddened by the loss of two incredible icons in the entertainment industry. Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes. I know this is supposed to be a blog about weddings, but it would be thoughtless of me not to acknowledge the profound impact that these two men had on my and Derrick's lives. We have spent some of our most joyous times watching and listening to these two incredible talents. While their passing is certainly a devastating loss, the time they've spent with us, along with all that they've shared is certainly something special to be celebrated. R.I.P

Saturday, I waited for Derrick while he had his final tux fitting at the Armani store. I sat in the stairway where I could be sure my eyes wouldn't catch an unintentional glimpse of him in his wedding day wears. I know I will cry when I see him. Oh, I'm gonna need a really great concealer and some waterproof mascara, cause ooh I just know it!!!!!!! Where, oh where will I stash a Kleenex? Anyway, we also tackled the last of our home improvement project shopping until after the wedding. That's always fun for us. It's almost like being on a date, except there is no hot, buttered popcorn and we can't order any wine in there. Nonetheless, we still manage to turn it into a good time. Although I will say, he has put his foot down and will not watch another HGTV or Wedding Channel show until further notice. lol.

So as not to overwhelm ourselves, we've decided that during the next two weeks, we will stick to wedding business. The coming days are going to be a bit hectic and we don't want to inundate ourselves with too many different things. That would mean twice as many phone calls, twice as much running around, and twice as much opportunity for frustration. Not worth it. I'm working on a two-week schedule in which I can fit everything that needs to be done. Don't worry ladies, I will be delegating. ;o)

8-8-08

Initially, we mulled over the idea of getting married on August 8th, 2008. Obviously, it would be a very symbolic date and certainly not an easy one to forget as far as anniversaries are concerned. I now see that many other couples are in fact, planning their nuptials on this day, and to them I say happy wedding day and congratulations! Looking back, I'm glad we didn't go with this day. First of all, that extra two weeks is much needed right about now and I cannot even fathom my wedding day being here already. That aside, we chose the day that was right for us and it will remain symbolic no matter what the date.

I was in a little boutique today and met a woman who reminded me that at the end of the day, everything will fall into place and that on my wedding day, I should remember to focus on the relationship and what it means, rather than the event itself. I think this was pretty sound advice and I will give myself a little reminder to do so at every given opportunity. She said that I seemed surprisingly calm for a bride to be. I explained to her that I really had no other choice, that I had surrendered the day and refused to try and control its outcome. As I was leaving, she asked me to choose a card from a deck that was next to a book near the register, and then open the book to the page that corresponds to the word on the card. Humoring her, I hastily chose a card, as I was in a bit of a rush to get to my next destination. When I turned the card over, the word on it read LOVE. I smiled at the irony and what seemed to be a wink from the universe and suddenly, I was no longer eager to leave. I opened the book to the page on love, and slowly took in the information. I guess I never said this, but I don't believe in coincidences. I do however, believe in winks. Winks come from people and places and things that confirm that you're exactly where you are supposed to be on your journey. It's what happens when you surrender. It makes where you came from and where you are going, much less important than where you are.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Whoa! Seventeen days to go. I say "whoa" because everytime I think about how close we are, my stomach flutters. We've been shopping for wedding bands. Who knew this would be such a challenge? Well it was for me anyway. Derrick found his choice to be pretty quick and simple. A man can shop for two hours and come home with a whole ensemble including sox and underwear. A woman pretty much needs a full weekend or at least a day to get anything accomplished. I think I may have said this in my very first blog entry, but I can't deal with too many choices. Once again, I want simple elegance. Something that makes a statement yet doesn't scream "look at me!", and after flipping through tons of magazines, I was sure I knew the exact setting I wanted. Of course once Derrick and I got to the jeweler, that all went out the window. So many styles and sizes and settings and shapes and options. Anyway, we found one that beautifully compliments the engagement ring Derrick gave me and I can hardly wait to wear it.

Did I mention that we are also renovating our new home? Oh yeah, so it's not just rings and centerpieces, but floor tiles, crown molding and light fixtures as well. lol

I have to laugh cause I wouldn't change my situation for anything in the world and although frustration lurks around many a corner, Derrick and I are constantly reminding each other, "If we're not gonna have fun, why are we doing it?"

Showered With Love

Just thought I'd share this beautiful speech with you along with a few pictures taken at my bridal shower on sunday. It was simply amazing. I could not have asked for a more beautiful day. The weather was a perfectly breezy eighty two degrees as some of my closest friends and family showed up to once again, embrace and uplift me as I embark on the journey to the next chapter of my life. What a day, what a perfect day!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others".
~Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

The Glow Of Love

I am truly overwhelmed at the huge response to my little blog. I am most taken with how many of you have said that our love proves that true love really does exist or that we have given you hope, as though some of you had lost it. I am so inspired to share this with you that I had to pull my car off the nearest New Jersey Turnpike exit to write this down.

The love story that you read about here is merely a portion of my story. One that I am compelled to write about but in a much more detailed version at a later date. For now, I will give you the truncated version.

Ladies, let me tell you. This love story began long before I started dating Derrick. I was not only hopeful that true love existed, I was confident! I first had to understand that nothing existed outside of me that didn't already exist within me. That's why it was futile for me to LOOK for love. How crazy is it to look for something that I already had? I acknowledged the love that was already there inside me. I nurtured it, fed it, allowed it to grow inside of me and when I had filled myself up with love, more was added to me.

I took time off, going to the spa often. I lived in a bubble for several months, nurturing my soul by reading, meditating and learning how to sit still. Lots of quiet, alone time. All of this was done, not in an effort to find a man or to find love. At the time, I just wanted to be happy. Instead of sitting down to pray and talk to God, I kept my mouth shut and sat down to pray by listening. Frankly, there was nothing I could tell God that He didn't already know, so I figured I'd let Him do all the talking. What did He say? Well that's between Him and me, but I will tell you this; You wanna see love? Show love. You wanna get love? Give love. You wanna feel love? Express love. You will wake up one day and find that you are surrounded by love. The love of family, the love of friends and the love of a good man.

My Style

At the risk of sounding obsessive about my hair, which I am, I am still very much undecided about what I will do on the day. Despite the rumors that our wedding is in Atlanta, Derrick and I are getting married in New Jersey where the weather can be just as humid and unpredictable. Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful compliments. I love, love, love my short cut but I do have something specific in mind for the wedding. I have been growing it out for a while now and will again be going for something very classic and timeless. I've gotta change it up just a taste. I know most people really like the short cut and believe me, I won't do anything drastic. Just something a little less edgy for the wedding. Actually there are some great links right here on the ESSENCE sight that I've been checking out.

Anyway, I've gotten many emails regarding hair care, and wanted to share a few of my own personal hair secrets with you. First, let me say that no matter what style I'm rocking, I pretty much only use two products; Keracare foaming wrap set lotion by Avalon and the TIGI wax stick. Now, I can sub a different wax for styling purposes, but do not by any means bring me any other foam. I have used this same foam everyday for over twelve years and believe me, it is the best. My hair doesn't dry out or break off, it simply shines and performs it own little dance. If for some reason I get in a jam, Jane Carter and Kim Kimble both make great foams as well but God save me if Avalon ever discontinues their foam. A great ceramic flat iron is a must. The secret. I never, ever use a comb when styling. Only my fingers and a touch of wax. I apply about 7 to 8 pumps of the foam to my damp hair and with a fine toothed comb, mold each section in the desired direction I want the hair to lay, not in a circular "wrap". Then dry the hair. I prefer to let it air dry, as short hair doesn't require much drying time. Once it's dry, I will take my fingernails and finger comb the hair in the same direction as I molded it to loosen the wrap.

I then take a small flatiron and begin bending some, not all pieces. This is key. The foam will add a nice shine to the hair but too much heat will take it away. And don't fight with your hair. If you see a piece wanting to go in a direction you hadn't planned on sending it, let it be. I found my best hair days to be when I let the hair have its way. To finish, I pull very small amounts of the TIGI wax through (concentrating on the ends) to give it some texture. That's it. I'm out the door in less than an hour. Don't get me wrong, perfecting your hairstyle takes some practice and a lot of patience but the result is worth the time. As for my wedding day "do", only time will tell. One thing I can promise you is that I will not be saying "I do" without my trusted foam.

Inside Out

Now that we are less than 30 days away from the big day, it's time to kick it up a notch. I will now take my three day workout routine up to five days, working at least 1 hour per day. That would include at least 30 minutes of cardio (alternate jogging, jump rope, brisk walk, stairs) My skin is most beautiful when I have spent some time expelling toxins through my pores and that requires a little perspiration. My 2 liter a day water intake will go to 3. I cannot tell you how many ways this benefits me. The skin plumps up, the eyes become more clear and ladies don't think I'm crazy but the cellulite begins to dissappear. The more water, the less ripples. That and low sodium will ensure that I will not be retaining any unnecessary water. What a drag. I have also been taking lots of vitamins. A women's daily, CoQ10 and iron for my blood, omega three, Nioxin for hair and skin. Only when I was pregnant did my nails ever grow so fast. For now, I will limit my intake of refined carbohydrates. I prefer whole grain breads and cereals anyway. Sugar is not my friend so I will opt for blue agave nectar or honey instead. I once did this regimen for two months and the results were amazing. I ate about five or six small meals a day and only worked out for 1 hour 3 times a week. Yes, I slimmed down a lot but my energy level was through the roof and I felt better than ever. One more thing. I ate lots of yams. I don't know what it is about yams but they seem to give my skin a little added radiance.

I met with my makeup artist Monifa. We talked about whether we should go with a clean natural look or if my face should be beat to the utmost level of fabulousness. I'll keep the final decision a secret until the day. For now, I'll let Anastasia maintain my brows and request my manicure and pedicure be deluxe. I plan to be 100% ready for the day. Inside and out.