Understanding why you don’t call a black man a boy

When I read about Kentucky Republican Congressman Geoff Davis using the word “boy” in reference to Sen. Barack Obama, I immediately thought of a routine, and subsequent book, by comedian Cedric the Entertainer.

While watching the movie, “The Kings of Comedy,” Ced had me rolling in the aisle talking about being a “grown ass man,” and that eventually became the title of his best-selling book, “Grown-A$$ Man.”

For those who think that African Americans are too sensitive over this issue, and it’s just a well-meaning person making a mistake, I understand that. But others must understand the history of African Americans, and what it has always meant to black men for someone to call them a “boy.”

One, it’s the ultimate sign of disrespect, and is often more offensive than calling them the N-word. For years black men were summarily dismissed and treated with disregard. It was as if their stature was diminished when someone white called them a boy. I’ve heard black men describe the hurt and pain of growing up and having someone white call them a boy in front of their own child.

Again, I know some are reading this and saying, “Why can’t we all just get along and forget all this race stuff?”

That would be great, but our history is truly our history, and there are things left over that when said, immediately conjure up those feelings of old.

Do you remember the images from the sanitation strike that the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was leading in Memphis in 1968? The most striking visual was that of the male protestors wearing signs saying, “I Am A Man!”

There was a reason they were wearing those signs.

You may have caught the Showtime movie, “10,000 Black Men Named George,” which tells the story of labor leader A. Philip Randolph, who organized the black porters of the Pullman Rail Company during the1920s, known as the Brotherhood of Sleeping Car Porters.

The name is derived from the fact that white passengers never bothered to learn the names of the porters, and would dismissively call them all George, which was seen during those days as a racial slur.

Remember earlier this year when former President Bill Clinton referred to Obama as a “kid”? That evoked a similar reaction by some because it was seen as being dismissive of a sitting U.S. senator who also is a grown man with a wife and two daughters. Where I come from, we call that a man, and not a boy or kid.

I have my own story when it comes to being called a boy.

I recall working at the Austin (Texas) American-Statesman newspaper and an older white male colleague was talking to me, and in the conversation, he referenced me as a boy. I knew he meant no harm, but don’t think for a second that it didn’t cross my mind about the word. He also stiffened up, realized what he said and quickly replied, “Now you know I didn’t mean to disparage you by calling you a boy?”

In this presidential campaign we have had many instances where individuals have made references that were perceived as sexist or racist. Some have been called overt; others covert.

I’ve heard men blow off comments about Sen. Hillary Clinton that are clearly sexist, and we do well to recognize that. I have a wife, sisters and nieces, and I sure don’t want them treated with disrespect, so not objecting to sexism towards Clinton means that attitude will remain, and it may affect the women in my life one day.

Heck, Obama’s comments about rural folks in Pennsylvania and the visceral reaction by some shows that even when it comes to guns and religion, some folks see that as an attack on who they are and where they come from.

When people suggest that we all shouldn’t be so sensitive, I get what they are saying, but I also know that’s always easy to say when you aren’t the one who is being targeted.

Watching what you say, and realizing the meaning what you say is not being politically correct. It’s realizing that words do matter, and they have meaning.

This brouhaha over the comments by the Kentucky congressman won’t blow up into a major story, and we’ll all likely forget. But let’s treat all of this as a history lesson on race and gender, and as a window into a world that many of us either don’t know about, ignore or long forgot.

Comments

[Nanaqu2]

It is interesting Roland that Mr. Obama's mistakes gets the front page, the media treats it as breaking news while others in the media, mainly people of a different race and political affiliation, their mistakes and mishaps are not even spoken of in the media. It's time to call a spade a spade and be fair.

[TheIcon]

Roland,

I want to thank you for writing about this subject. I wrote about this same thing on my blog, The Savvy Sista, yesterday, but I think the story has more impact if it is expressed through the voice of a Black Man. There is a lot that Euro-stream (as Dr. Carr of Howard University so eloquently put it) America has to learn about Black America. Sometimes whites make statements about blacks because they honestly don't know and some don't care to know how offensive their statements are. Black people have to know about white people, but white people don't have to know anything about black people and that is why we keep having incidents like this one.

http://thesavvysister.blogspot.com

[KIT]

I am amazed at how some people are always cognizant of the words they use and then others just let it rip, like this Congressman, O'Reilly talking about not lynching Michelle Obama, a woman on Larry talking about Obama being allowed to sit in the back of Hillary's bus and your story Roland. It ust shows that racial bias is buried deep down in the psyche. It also shows that people of color can identify racism so readily because the markers for identity is deep down in their psyche.

I remember the most painful part of watching movies like Roots, Missisippi Burning, etc. was when the black man was degraded and talked down to in front of his wife and children. As a black woman it just broke my heart when I thought about how that black man must have felt deep down in his heart, feeling powerless, wanting to show strength to his children, but fearing his and their ultimate safety in the process. I get sad and angry just recalling those imagines. It is a bitter history, but a history nonetheless.

[caugyrl06]

Roland, I have admired you and your work for some time now. With Tavis leaving Tom Joyner soon, do you think you would fill the spot on Tuesday and Thursday mornings? I think it would be a great move, and even a step up from Tavis!

[Heather Johnston]

The Kentucky Senator's remark about Obama is straight up racist. Glad you brought it to my attention. But I tell you, I'm weary of every statement under scrutiny. That said, I can't get the "bitter' comment out of my mind. Even though I could hear myself saying the same thing, ultimately, I think it's wrong, and not what Mr. Obama is about. He needs to do more than express regret and bring up his modest roots. He's got to bridge yet another divide.

Yes, he grew up struggling, but his God-given talent and good fortune to be born into a society that finally offered some opportunity for blacks put him into a different category from his less gifted counter parts of any race. Ditto Michelle. And, frankly, to a much, much lesser degree, even myself. I grew up in a working class all black neighborhood and was raised by my mother and grandmother who valued education. I was often the smartest in my class. I got into the best private school in the area, and that lead me to Harvard. That trajectory has given me incredible advantages, hard earned for sure, that seem unavailable to my counterparts who didn't thrive in school.

The divide is not just about race, or even class, it is also ability and access. Those of us who have it need to stop fronting like we don't because we came up hard. We need to be sensitive and inclusive to those who feel they don't, for what ever reason, even as we struggle to make the world a better place. Otherwise, we fall into the blind, out-of-touch, elitist trap that loses elections. The Clintons, no matter how shallow and opportunistic, get this. Obama needs to do more than tout his humble beginnings, he needs to be the honest bridge builder that only he can be. I'm expecting him to. Yes we can.

[Clarity]

Roland,

I am quite upset the media has relegated the story of Geoff Davis calling Obama a boy to the back of the search engines. The only references I am
to find are the LA TIMES, ABC NEWS blog spot. It is not listed on CNN as a story. Only Google has it listed as a subject on it's NEWS/Politics opening page. Yahoo has no reference to it as a top story

If they can BLOW UP the "bitter" comment to no end before Pennsylvania why not BLOW UP the reference to Obama being called a BOY before the debate tomorrow followed by the Pennsylvania primary. This is an outrage- first the comment-- then the snuffing out of the story on the internet. The furor that can follow is the reason. Give the comment some air time before Pennsylvania so people can see what is truly going on.

[Retia Walker]

I appreciate your comments, Roland. I was very upset when I heard about the comments made by US Rep. Geoff Davis (white Kentucky Republician). Where is the media to denounce these comments? Perhaps they are too busy replaying statements made by Rev Wright that were taken out of context. We must continue to help all Americans understand that racism still exist in this country and certain words/expressions continue to demean us. It's time to stop this nonsense!

[Retia Walker]

I appreciate your comments, Roland. I was very upset when I heard about the comments made by US Rep. Geoff Davis (white Kentucky Republician). Where is the media to denounce these comments? Perhaps they are too busy replaying statements made by Rev Wright that were taken out of context. We must continue to help all Americans understand that racism still exist in this country and certain words/expressions continue to demean us. It's time to stop this nonsense!